THERE are certain things that are common among all humans so in the beginning the ideas and thoughts that go into the shaadi planning will have much in common with the wedding planning of other cultures.
After all people have been getting married and celebrating those marriages for generations. If you think about it, no matter what culture you belong to, and what faith, there is an original wedding story. Whether it is Adam being lonely and finding Eve, or some variation thereof. The story usually starts with a man feeling lonely, goes in search of finding a mate ... a companion ... a beloved ... preferably pretty ... hopefully smart, and then proposing to her and if the stars are properly aligned, she will yes, meaning he can then marrying her, and settle down.
For many girls it has got to the point where they focus so much on the wedding, they forget to think about the marriage -- but that is a theme for another day. Today, we will talk about how to execute a perfect wedding plan.
To plan and to execute a perfect wedding requires that first you put into it a lot of thought and self analysis.
Before you think about the invitation cards the food and the music consider for example your own Desi as well as Muslim connections.
What elements of Desi culture interests you? What Islamic connections do you and your partner share?
In which ways do your Muslim observances differ from each other?
This is even more critical in a cross cultural marriage.
Which cultural aspects will play the pivotal role?
The non-Muslim (and/or non-desi) partner may want to be specific about which aspects of the Muslim/Desi wedding traditions and customs they enjoy and have his questions about the Desi Muslim customs and culture answered.
In America typically the bride sets the tone for such things however one can never take such things for granted.
For instance if you have to have halal food served then this will determine which venues are open to you for the ceremony - for not all venues allow outside caterers and there are almost none totally Muslim shaadi venues.
There are desi caterers that may not supply halal food or if they do supply halal food may not be able to meet your "taste-of-food" criteria.
This one decision alone narrows your choice of feasible venues dramatically.
The choice of venue has to come first in your planning because until you decide on the venue and sign a contract, making sure it is available on the day of your wedding, there is little you can do about say printing invitation cards.
Just when you think you have this aspect of your shaadi covered, you realize that you need more than one venue for a desi shaadi.
Depending on your own personal choices, you may need a venue for the:
Nikah ceremony
Mehndi function
Rukhsati ceremony
Valima function
Typically the Valima is held by the Bridegroom's family however in a congenial wedding if the families are coming together and live in the same city they may plan these things together and share ideas.
You will also have to grapple with the choice of caterer as mentioned.
Do you want the same caterer for all functions and change the menu at each occasion?
Or a different caterer and venue at each function ?
As you can see the permutations and combinations become staggering if you let it.
